True Rewards

As i struggled through this journey
between the shadow and the light
all emotionally overloaded
and still persisting on a fight
once sucumbing to my chaos
i reached my hand out for a lover
one who was indeed attracted
yet on this occasion i wasnt her druthers
secondly i reached out my hand
in the name of pure lonliness
to another whose lust ran high
and was sure that i'd be her best
altho for some unknown reason
she still listened to my plot
and yet somehow she managed
to decline me while still hot
third time i did reach out my hand
in the name of deperation
to a willing one she said
primed and filled up with elation
wheb the moment was upon us
as make-out time began
clear visions of another couple
through my mind constantly ran
strike three befell and now what
should i yield or persevere
am i but loseing time and again
or do i win - i was unclear
but after further consideration
brought me to this conclusion
i win because i remain intact
in the midst of much confusion
not feeding into my lustful calls
by a power thats more than mine
and even tho i fought it
it;ll all just happen in due time.